Stuck in the Middle

Even though I preach this a lot, often failing to for lack of better words ‘self implement’, it’s important to understand that depression comes in different shapes and sizes. A one size fits all mechanism can’t be applied here, no single cure and definitely no unanimous cause. Everyone is different and that’s exactly the note I want to lead with. Some people get thrust into this black hole of emotion by no predicament of their own, I like to blame genetics for this; others get sucked into a whirlpool of their circumstances, lets just blame the environment for this. Before you think I’m someone who just talks, lets just go out and settle this, I’ve had anxiety in different forms for years now but it was in 2009 when I realised this for the first time, after that it’s been pretty much a rollercoaster ride. Once you’ve hit absolute rock bottom, it’s so easy to sink right back in and it takes everything within your soul to pull yourself out of that, so you see the good and hope around you. You could very well be an intensely strong warrior with absolutely no deep grieving memories that altered your universe, you could be the ying to your own yang, that’s the absolute beauty of this curse, anyone can melt down when struck with this lightning of feelings, it doesn’t have to be apparent, hell it doesn’t even have to take over your entire life, but you’ll know how much it affects you, you’ll know how it’s changed you and you’ll know what it’s taken from you and sometimes that’s all that matters. This haunting feeling of being stuck in the middle, apparently “normal” but fighting demons that peril you behind this facade. This is exactly what this blog is, it’s not going to be a cry-me-a-river saga but a virtual support group, even if I’m only the one with the rant, so you realise that even though the society around you shuns you or thinks this isn’t real, unless of course you’re really lucky and let’s say progressive, that you’re not alone and believe you me, I know its real and absolutely crippling even if just emotionally.

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